How to Love Life Again

When change happens, we do not always know how to deal with it. That is especially true with death. Losing someone or something we love, e.g. a spouse, a child, a friend, a pet, or perhaps even your job can be very difficult. Life changes in ways we may never have contemplated. When this happens, and it will happen to everybody sometime in their lives, how do we deal with all the emotions? How do we move on with our own lives? How do we begin to love life again?

Below are five steps to begin that process.

STEP 1: You Can Do It
The first step is to acknowledge the possibility that you can make it through whatever difficulties you face. While grief consists of five distinct stages, very few people will go through those stages one after the other. You might experience them one by one or several at the same time. People process grief in their own time and in their own way. What does this mean for you? Well, it means that you may acknowledge you can make it through moment by moment over and over again.

STEP 2: Feel Your Emotions
Really feel them, then reach for the emotion that is just one step lighter than what you are feeling now, e.g. one step lighter than fear, grief, depression, despair, and powerlessness are insecurity, guilt, and unworthiness. Now that may not seem any better and yet step by step you will begin to feel a little bit better. This does not occur overnight, but it does happen.

STEP 3: Find the Music
Make room in your life to include music that feeds your soul. Include music that lets you express your anger, your depression, your giddiness, or whatever emotion you are feeling at the moment. Especially good is laughter. You know the kind: the cheek hurting, belly aching bellow of laughter, the kind that brings tears to your eyes. When it is over, it is a relief just to stop laughing! Ahhh....

STEP 4: Go for the Support
Reach out to someone who will support you. This may not be who you expect. You just might find a very special friend by venturing out to others. Go out for lunch or dinner. Spend hours on the phone talking about all kinds of things. Find someone who will let you talk as much as you need, someone who will really listen. Another form of support to consider is Hospice. Look them up in your local phone book. They have an incredible amount of knowledge and support available.

STEP 5: Dare to dream.
Imagine your world the way you would like it to be in the future and write it down. Then take one action every day towards that dream. On some days the action you take may be as simple as reading your dreams over and over again. And, remember, it is okay if your dreams keep changing. If the step you take today does not feel right, well, then change directions and take just one more step. What is most important is that you do take one action step toward the future that you choose.

These five steps are really very simple, but I will guarantee you that they are not always easy. I will also guarantee that you are worth every beautiful step you take towards your dream.